Sleeping is the hardest

Hello Sunshine! Late night thoughts. I'm finding it hard to sleep again, which I suppose would be good for the workaholic side of me. I'm thinking, maybe I should work on finding more songs to listen to, new untainted songs. I just have to find my preferred starting point and let myself be sucked into some sort of vortex.

I bought a new notebook. I told myself i will write my thoughts on it when thoughts do hit me. Unfortunately it's almost 3AM and it's dark and I don't have the energy to turn on the lights or set myself up with a pen to write with. I'm not at home, by the way.

I ate chips earlier, right before I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I liked how the chips tasted something from my childhood. It's nice when your senses manage to take you to a nice memory. At least (senses) have some winning moments.

I managed to get some sleep after putting on some music from this Spotify playlist that I love. Unfortunately I woke up when it ran out of songs. This scares me a little. I remember from the jolt of waking up that I was dreaming of my things: stuff I own, places I lived in. Typing it down like this leaves me cramped up inside. I feel panic, I think that's what this is.

I think of my scar, how I got it and the time she was there.

I think of my red dress, how I can't wear it without her ironing it out.

I think of Katipunan, how she held me close when she wakes up and finds me not sleeping.

I think I lost her.